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Blank Days During the Summer Vacation

Parent Tips

Blank Days During the Summer Vacation

Written by: Lam Ho Pui Yee, Founder & Volunteer Director of Good Love Passion

 

Many parents make great efforts to fill their children’s summer vacations with activities, as in the parents’ eyes, if the summer time is not spent on learning, it will be wasted. Attending tutorial classes, hobby classes, and summer camps, or even going abroad for study tours, have become the norm. But what would a summer without any extra classes or talent training be like? Can parents give their children a true summer vacation?

 

Who says that giving children a summer vacation without extra classes and crammed schedules means they lose learning opportunities? Alvin Rosenfeld, the author of “The Over-Scheduled Child” and an American scholar, has pointed out that reserving enough blank time for children actually allows them the space and opportunity to find and develop their personal interests. Many groundbreaking theories were also born during periods of unstructured time. For example, after graduating from university, Einstein was unemployed and had to work at the patent office cataloging strange inventions. He used this blank time to ponder constantly, and eventually discovered the revolutionary concept of relativity. Similarly, during the great plague outbreak in London, Newton had an entire year to retreat to the countryside and lie on the lawn, thinking freely without distractions. It was then that he observed an apple falling from a tree – something he likely would have missed had he remained in the bustling city of London.

Therefore, by leaving blank days during the summer vacation, a child’s mode of thinking will be more prominent, whereas when the schedule is packed full, even the best minds will be in vain. Please leave some time for your children, allow them to allocate their own time, encourage them to engage in lengthy blank periods and slow contemplation of life experiences, and even permit them to waste some time doing silly things. Within these two months, they should say “I love you” to two family members at least 30 times, hug those two family members once a day for three consecutive days, refrain from using their smartphones for a day, and attend a music concert or watch a sports game. Let them walk to the beach or grassy areas to play, run, and shout to their heart’s content, take the initiative to care for those who need care, such as visiting elderly neighbors living alone, and writing an encouraging letter to an old classmate or elderly family member.

 

Let’s allow our children to experience different lifestyles and have a fulfilling yet unhurried summer vacation!

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Healthy Back Care Exercises – Suitable for Both Adults and Children

Parent Tips

Healthy Back Care Exercises – Suitable for Both Adults and Children

Written by: Fong Wai Kwan, Dr. Kong’s Professional Team of Registered Physiotherapist

 

Parents should avoid letting their children develop the following bad postures, which can affect the development of the spine:

 

When children are doing their homework, they should avoid sitting sideways to one side, as this posture can easily lead to uneven use of force on the left and right sides of the spine, causing problems such as scoliosis. At the same time, they should maintain an upright posture in both the neck and waist.

When children use computers, they should not lean their necks too far forward to look at the screen, as this can easily lead to neck strain. Parents should also remind children to keep their necks and backs straight, and choose chairs that are adjustable in height and equipped with backrests and armrests to support the back, hands, and wrists. Additionally, the screen should be positioned at a height not above eye level. After every 30 minutes of computer use, there should be adequate rest breaks taken.

 

When lifting heavy objects from the floor, it is best to avoid bending the waist forward to pick them up. Instead, one should adopt a semi-squatting posture, keeping the waist straight. Then, grip the heavy object with both hands, keeping it as close to the body as possible. Finally, use the leg muscles to stand up, maintaining a straight waist.

 

Neck Stretching Exercises

Purpose: To help relieve muscle tension in the neck

Steps: 1. Turn your head to the left and right sides, holding each position for 10 seconds.

  1. Move your head up and down, holding each position for 10 seconds.
  2. Tilt your head towards the left and right sides, holding each position for 10 seconds.

Repeat the full set of exercises 10 times per day.

 

Shoulder Stretching Exercises

Purpose: To help relieve tension in the shoulder muscles

Steps: Place your hands on your shoulders, and rotate your elbows forward and backward 10 times in each direction.

Chest Stretching

Purpose: To help stretch the chest muscles and improve poor posture

Steps: Firmly grasp your hands behind your back, and raise your hands as high as possible, holding for 10 seconds. Repeat 10 times per day.

 

Stretching the Back and Waist Muscles

Purpose: To help relieve tension in the back and waist muscles

Steps: 1. Place your hands on your knees, then bend forward at the waist, hold for 10 seconds, and slowly return to a standing position.

  1. Place your hands on your hips, then bend backward at the waist, hold for 10 seconds, and slowly return to a standing position.

Repeat the full set of exercises 10 times per day.

 

Side Body Stretching

Purpose: To help relieve tension in the side waist muscles

Steps: 1. Place your hands on your hips and twist your waist from side to side, slowly returning to the starting standing position with hands on hips. Hold each side for 10 seconds.

  1. Raise your left hand and bend to the right, hold for 10 seconds, then slowly return to the starting standing position with hands on hips.
  2. Raise your right hand and bend to the left, hold for 10 seconds, then slowly return to the starting standing position with hands on hips.

Repeat the full set of exercises 10 times per day.

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Is it Eczema or Skin Sensitivity?

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Is it Eczema or Skin Sensitivity?

Written by: YEUNG Ming Ha, Registered Chinese Medicine Practitioner

As we move into early autumn, in addition to starting to feel the cool breezes, we also notice that many of our friends around us have started to “itch”, and skin problems have come knocking on the door again! Many people have rushed to seek medical attention, constantly inquiring whether they have already contracted incurable eczema. Although eczema itself has different categories, in terms of the pathogenesis, there are many similarities with skin sensitivity. How exactly should we distinguish between skin sensitivity and eczema? Is eczema really as terrible as it seems?

  • Causes of the Condition

Eczema is a common type of allergic dermatitis that is not contagious. In traditional Chinese medicine, it is referred to as “damp sores”, and it is a very common skin condition. The internal factors of eczema include constitution, emotions, and organ dysfunction, while the external factors include wind, dampness, and heat obstructing the skin. “Where evil congregates, the vital energy must be deficient.” When the body’s righteous qi is weakened, and the immune system function is reduced, wind, dampness, and heat evils permeate the skin, leading to the development or worsening of eczema.

Skin sensitivity, also known as urticaria, is closely related to certain food sensitivities or contact with substances. There are two common types of skin sensitivity. The first is an allergic reaction triggered by exposure to external irritants such as metals, dust mites, and chemicals. The second is caused by food sensitivity, which can lead to varying degrees of skin sensitivity issues, including redness, dryness, and peeling, as well as intense itching that may result in a “scratching” sensation.

  • Differences in the Appearance of the Affected Areas

In terms of the appearance of the skin rash, skin sensitivity generally presents with redness, and even urticaria, which can worsen after scratching. Acute eczema can manifest with red rashes, oozing, and even bleeding, while chronic eczema can lead to thickening of the stratum corneum, an uneven surface, dryness, and even cracking. Once this thickened stratum corneum is scratched off, it can not only cause bleeding, but also result in oozing. Moreover, eczema can occur on any part of the body, such as the ears, head, face, hands, navel, and legs, but in a symmetrical distribution. Patients often experience intense itching, and when they scratch the affected areas, it can lead to skin erosion, oozing of serous fluid, and even the formation of thick crusts. The repeated episodes can make the skin surface rough and with raised lesions.

 

  • Treatments Converge Towards the Same Goal

Skin problems are primarily related to the three pathogenic factors of wind, dampness, and heat, especially dampness. Dampness can engender heat, leading to a damp-heat pattern. Over time, dampness can injure the spleen, while heat can damage the yin blood, resulting in a mixed pattern of deficiency and excess. This is because the patient’s innate constitution (inherent physical factors) is intolerant, with a weakened spleen and stomach, leading to the generation of internal damp-heat. When combined with an external wind evil, the internal and external evils interact, causing the wind-damp-heat evil to permeate the skin. Patients generally have a congenitally weak spleen and stomach constitution. Excessive consumption of spicy, irritating foods like seafood, or a large intake of raw, cold foods in summer can lead to dampness and toxins burdening the body, further impairing the spleen’s function and increasing the likelihood of developing skin sensitivity.

Therefore, dietary adjustment is crucial in the treatment of skin problems. Patients with skin diseases should avoid “aggravating foods” during the treatment period. These include seafood, beef, sweets, spicy foods, and alcohol – items that can trigger or worsen skin rashes. Patients should also avoid various skin irritants, such as scratching, using strongly alkaline soaps, taking hot showers, and engaging in activities that cause excessive sweating, as these can provide relief for eczema.

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Is my child particularly smart?

Parent Tips

Is my child particularly smart?

Written by: Dr Cheung Kit

 

On television, there are many advertisements targeting the children’s market, including clothing, snacks, formula milk, stationery, and furniture. One of the key points is to make children more intelligent or to help them fully realize their intellectual potential, which is a good selling point. This sales technique captures a key point in the hearts of every parent – that their own child is the best.

 

Without discussing the truthfulness, logic, and objectivity of this statement, it is a sentiment that most parents, including the author, would agree with. However, in the process of raising children, this “most intelligent” mentality may lead to unrealistic expectations. Therefore, we can take a step back and take a closer look. In our daily lives, here are five behaviors that fathers commonly use to praise their children:

 

  1. “A 2-year-old child knows many functions of the tablet computer.”

 

This is because the touchscreen of the tablet computer is controlled by the resistance of the fingers, so a child’s random pointing movements can easily manipulate the screen. Additionally, without the logical constraints of adults, it is not difficult for most children to discover new functions on the device.



  1. “A 6-month-old child can observe others’ facial expressions and respond with coy or angry reactions.”

 

This type of response has been medically confirmed as one of the developmental milestones for all children. This two-way behavioral response, where the child learns by observing others’ reactions, is actually a learning response. Children who lack this type of reaction may be suspected of having sensory issues or early signs of autism.



  1. “A 3-year-old child can use adult-like vocabulary.”

 

Research has shown that children in the early childhood period can simultaneously learn up to six languages, which means their brains can continuously absorb the words and sentence structures around them. Even if they don’t understand the meaning, they can repeat them like a parrot. When adults realize they haven’t directly taught the child, and the child still knows the vocabulary, they may mistakenly think this is a sign of the child’s learning genius, which is inaccurate.



  1. “The questions that children ask sometimes are even beyond my ability to answer, they are so brilliant.”

 

In Hong Kong, one of the reasons why the complaint culture is so prevalent is that there is no cost involved: as long as one voices a complaint, someone will follow up on it without any effort. The questioning by children is a similar situation. They simply use words like “why”, “what”, and “how”, and the parents have to try their best to answer. In reality, these questions they raise are more a sign of their non-compliance, rather than a genuine learning process. So, this is not related to intelligence.

  1. “When they play games, they prefer not to follow the rules and set their own new rules.”

 

Adhering to rules is a social norm defined by the adult world. Children, like people in undeveloped regions, need to learn how to live together and follow the rules. Therefore, if they knowingly do not follow the rules, it is merely an act of rebellion, not necessarily a sign of intelligence. On the contrary, the wiser approach is to first learn the basic rules, and then negotiate to improve them, in the view of the author.



After understanding the above common misconceptions, it is not difficult to grasp what a truly intelligent child is:

 

  1. It is not just about being able to manipulate a tablet or smartphone flexibly, but also understanding how to utilize their functions.

 

  1. The ability to intuit adult psychology is an innate skill in children, and the wisdom to control their own emotions is even more valuable.

 

  1. Language ability is not the sole component in evaluating intelligence; both the “quality” and “quantity” of vocabulary are important.

 

  1. Exceeding one’s personal developmental milestones at a certain stage is quite common, but sustained long-term advancement without being pushed is what truly merits attention.

 

While intelligence is certainly desirable, good character is also very important.

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What you need to know about e-learning

Parent Tips

What you need to know about e-learning

Written by: Director of Program Development, Carmen Leung

 

After the pandemic, e-learning has become inevitable. Parents also download various tablet computer programs for their children to use, hoping that they can learn through interactive or entertaining visuals and sounds. Which animations and applications are beneficial for children’s learning? What should parents pay attention to when using multimedia to help their children learn?

 

Using e-learning according to age

 

In the preschool years, as the brain regions responsible for the five senses are developing rapidly, the author does not recommend that children aged 0 to 2 frequently or excessively rely on using television or tablet computers for learning. This is because the images on television or tablet computers are flashing at an extremely high frequency, and the young child’s eyes and brain will constantly receive stimulation unconsciously. Over time, visual stimulation becomes a habit, and brain development is also affected, leading to a decrease in concentration.

 

Some parents say, “My child is very focused when watching TV and playing with the iPhone, but they don’t have the patience for books, so I bought a lot of educational animations for them to watch.” Have parents ever thought that if the eyes and brain are used to constant stimulation, relatively static things like books and teacher explanations will naturally become uninteresting? If you continue to let young children rely on rich visuals to learn, what will happen when they eventually need to face book-based learning in the future?

   

For children aged 2 and above, as their brain development is more mature, parents can allow their children aged 2 and above to use television and computers for learning, but within limits. The time should start from no more than 15 minutes per day, and can be gradually increased as the child gets older. This is because as children grow older, the high-frequency flickering of computers or televisions will have a relatively lower impact on brain development.

 

Recommendation to use multiple learning modes

 

Although screen displays have an impact on children’s concentration, the author does not believe that using television and computers for learning has no merit. Multimedia or computer programs can increase the fun and interactivity of learning, making children more interested in learning and learning faster and more. However, in addition to using highly interactive multimedia for learning, children also need to adapt to other less interactive learning modes, such as books and one-way lectures, and find the enjoyment in learning from them. Parents should provide their children with diversified learning paths, such as taking them to the library, playing educational games with them, visiting museums, walking on nature trails, or even teaching them to read English menus at restaurants, so that children can try different learning modes and methods, and find the joy of learning.

How to choose suitable multimedia electronic learning products?

 

– The product should preferably not have non-learning elements that children can download or open by themselves. For example, if a child is using an iPhone or iPad for learning, parents should not let the child access other apps, ensuring that the child is learning rather than playing.

 

– Products with segmented or sectioned learning should be used. Many parents find that when it’s time for the child to stop using electronic devices, the child may have negative emotional reactions. Therefore, the author suggests that the product should be divided into different chapters, and parents can limit the child to only view or complete one chapter at a time.

 

– The product should have interactive elements and require the child to respond in different ways. If a multimedia product only provides a one-way teaching mode, it is not a good product. For example, if the product only allows the child to sit and listen to information, or watch without needing to respond, we call this “one-way learning,” which should be avoided. Products that allow children to sing together, do actions together, spell words together, read aloud, and answer questions are the ones that should be chosen.

For example, some products may allow children to respond, but each time it’s the same type of answer, such as pressing a button to respond. In this case, the child’s responses will be relatively slow, turning into a “robotic” style of learning, which can affect their future learning motivation and ability to think from multiple perspectives. Products like this should be avoided.

 

Time for using electronic devices

 

The time spent using electronic devices for learning should not be too long, and parents should also set a daily or weekly time limit for their children to use electronic devices. For example, children can only use the computer for a maximum of half an hour after completing their homework. If the half-hour is up, the child must honor the commitment and stop using the device. Parents can also work with their children to set a daily schedule, allocating time for homework, play, extracurricular activities, and using electronic devices. This helps children understand that everything needs to be planned and moderated, which not only trains their self-management skills but also effectively limits the time spent using electronic devices.

 

Using electronic devices as a reward

 

If children enjoy using electronic devices for learning (which they often do), parents can consider using device usage as a reward. For example, if the child finishes their meal in half an hour or completes their homework with quality, they can be allowed to use the electronic device for thirty minutes.

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The issue of “Biliteracy and Trilingualism”

Parent Tips

The issue of “Biliteracy and Trilingualism”

Written by: Ms. Chan-Chen Shu-an, Early Childhood Education Specialist

 

Children are young and innocent, lacking the ability to discern right from wrong or make sound judgments. They are entirely at the mercy of adults, immersed in the family, school, and social environments that are cultivated by elders. The author often feels that children are the most innocent, and therefore, the responsibility of educating the next generation is truly inescapable.

 

Firstly, the author does not oppose learning foreign languages, as she firmly believes that knowing an additional language is akin to having an extra key for communication, academic pursuits, and knowledge expansion. Furthermore, the author strongly agrees that the earlier one learns a language, the better, especially when it comes to language pronunciation, as it becomes increasingly difficult to master as one grows older.

 

What is “Biliteracy and Trilingualism”?

 

The “Biliteracy and Trilingualism” provided by the Hong Kong Education Department is Chinese, English; Cantonese (mother tongue), English and Mandarin (Putonghua).

 

Objectives of Kindergarten Education

 

Early childhood education is the foundation of education for human beings. When a baby is born, the first person they interact with is their mother, and the mother is also the first teacher. Therefore, the language used for communication is the mother tongue, which is the language used by the mother and the common language in the family and society. Consequently, the primary objectives of kindergarten education in all countries, for children under the age of 6, are focused on the healthy development of the child’s mind and body, as well as the development of the child’s language skills.

 

Importance of the Mother Tongue

 

All countries in the world use the mother tongue as the medium of instruction. Children must first master their mother tongue, and only later, in the upper grades of primary school or even in secondary school, can they choose to learn a foreign language under the guidance of a specialized teacher. Unless they are the subjects of a colonial power, in which case they would need to learn the language of the ruling country, such as Vietnamese students learning French in the past, Taiwanese students learning Japanese, or students in India and Hong Kong learning English.

 

  1. Language is a tool for “communication” and “learning”, and the mother tongue is the common language in the family and society. Therefore, it is of utmost importance for children to be able to listen, speak, and master their mother tongue.

 

  1. The development of language is closely related to the development of thinking. Children learn to communicate with others through their mother tongue, which stimulates their brain’s response, thinking, questioning, association, and memory, leading to the acceptance or expression of ideas. This is an interdependent relationship between language and cognitive development. Therefore, the learning of language has a profound impact on the development of children’s thinking.

 

  1. Being familiar with the mother tongue and mastering the national language allows for a deeper understanding of one’s country’s history and culture. This fosters a sense of identification with one’s homeland, enhances national consciousness, and has a profound influence on one’s feelings, dignity, and love for the motherland. This patriotic and family-oriented mindset should be cultivated from an early age, which is recognized by all countries around the world.
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We should be grateful to others for being willing to ‘offer help’

Parent Tips

We should be grateful to others for being willing to ‘offer help’

Written by: Dr. Cheung Kit

 

In this era, parents’ protection of their children surpasses that of any previous generation. This may be due to the decrease in the number of children and the improvement in living standards, leading to parents spending more time and providing more comprehensive care for their children. Under such (possibly excessive) protection, children often become very self-centered and disregard the importance of others. From the parents’ perspective, they are inevitably biased and more tolerant of their own children. When faced with their children’s inappropriate behavior, parents tend to make excuses for them. This common human behavior, however, may lead to children becoming unruly. Therefore, in the difficult situation of balancing right and wrong, if someone is willing to “offer help and guidance,” parents should be grateful. The following are “important figures.”

 

  1. Teachers

Teachers are among the people who spend the most time with children. We would prefer teachers to directly point out the rights and wrongs to children during their daily interactions. This direct message can effectively “sink in” for the children. Sometimes, facing negative criticism, children will naturally feel unhappy, but it helps them understand the boundaries. Therefore, parents should appreciate the strict guidance of teachers and avoid casually complaining about their efforts.




       2.Elders

Many elders may be very strict with their own children but tend to be much more lenient with their grandchildren, sometimes even more so than the children’s parents. However, the status and life experience of elders are actually superior to anyone else’s. Therefore, their “one word of praise” can be more effective than others’ advice. The question is whether they are willing to play the role of the bad guy. If they are, parents should be grateful for their assistance.

        3.Medical Personnel

Medical personnel have always been relatively respected. However, children often have an aversion to medical procedures. Therefore, during consultations and treatments, children’s reactions often present a good teaching opportunity. If medical personnel (including doctors and nurses) are willing to provide guidance when children exhibit uncooperative behavior, the children will likely understand better. Although they may not correct their behavior immediately, it will certainly help in their life learning process.

 

        4.Passersby

Sometimes, unrelated bystanders can immediately point out inappropriate behavior in children, which can have a startlingly effective impact. For the parents present, this might be a bit embarrassing, but thinking it through, it is beneficial for the child’s behavior.

 

Children in their growth and learning phase need proper guidance, especially when their behavior deviates. Therefore, if parents are unwilling to play the “bad guy,” we should be grateful and appreciative if others are willing to speak up and correct the child.

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Training Children’s “Brain Power” & “Intelligence”-Early Childhood Edition

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Training Children’s “Brain Power” & “Intelligence”-Early Childhood Edition

 

Written by: Ms. Carmen Leung, Specialist in Child Development Psychology

DHA only provides nutrients for children’s brain development. To make children smarter, their brains must receive proper exercise. This time, I will introduce some brain-training games that are very suitable for children aged 2 to primary school age!

  1. Maze or Spot the Difference Brain Exercises

Although Maze and Spot the difference brain exercises were our childhood games, they are still good friends for children in this era. In addition to mazes and spot the difference, there are many different modes of brain exercises. In short, any image game that requires children to observe and focus to complete tasks belongs to brain exercises. Do you know Wally (translated as “Where’s Wally?” in Chinese)? It is one of the most popular brain games in the world.

In fact, brain games do not necessarily need to be purchased or printed in books. We can easily create brain games at home. For example, parents can place two Swiss candies in a pile of miscellaneous items, and the child will find them with great concentration!

         2.Tidying Up and Categorizing Household Items

Everyday activities, such as tidying up and categorizing items, are excellent opportunities to exercise the brain. Organizing items systematically not only enhances children’s organizational skills but also stimulates their creativity. Sometimes, children’s methods of categorization may differ from those of adults, but they have their own logic. Parents should ask their children why they categorize items in a certain way, as this can reveal that children’s observational skills might be sharper than expected. They use the details they observe to categorize, so parents should avoid imposing adult methods of categorization to prevent discouraging their children’s initiative in problem-solving.

You might wonder, “What if my child doesn’t like tidying up?” If your child hasn’t yet developed the habit of tidying and categorizing household items, start with games to motivate them to complete the “mission.” For example, you can organize a “Room Tidy-Up Competition” or a “Cleaning Day” where family members help each other tidy up. These activities encourage children to tidy and categorize, while also exercising their “brain power.”

        3.Memory Games

There are many memory game cards available, such as turning over a dozen cards and taking turns to flip two at a time. If the two cards match, you can keep them. Additionally, there are cards with different objects drawn on them. Parents can lay them out in a row, let the child look at them, then turn them over and ask the child to remember where a specific object is. These are excellent memory games, and both adults and children can get creative and change the rules to make the games more interesting.

Besides memory game cards, everyday life is full of rich memory games. For example, you can ask your child to find items they have seen you place somewhere before, or have them hide some items and then find them after a long period.

In summary, training children’s brain power and intelligence is not difficult at all. With a bit of thought and creativity, many everyday details can become opportunities for children to exercise their brains!

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Whose trash is it? The cultivation of children’s character must be achieved through home-school cooperation to be successful

Parent Tips

Whose trash is it? The cultivation of children’s character must be achieved through home-school cooperation to be successful

Written by: Mr. Cheung Wai Ching, Principal

 

There are two scenes in front of us:

 

Scene One:

On a bustling street, a little boy walking with his parents notices a discarded soda can at his feet. He picks up the can, intending to throw it into a nearby trash bin. However, his mother sees this and demands that he throw the can away, but the boy refuses. Then, his father comes over and scolds him, “Idiot, how can you pick up such dirty things? You’re not a street cleaner!” The little boy responds, “The teacher said we should protect the environment and not litter!” The mother says, “You didn’t throw it, so why bother?” The little boy looks confused but has no choice but to throw the trash back on the ground.

 

Scene Two:

On a crowded train station platform, a young mother is with a boy about 5 or 6 years old. After finishing his juice, the boy casually throws the empty box under the seat. The mother quickly picks up the empty box, hands it to her son, and says, “Good boy, throw the empty box into the trash bin in front.” A moment later, the mother and son hug each other affectionately, and the mother softly says to her son, “We must protect the environment and not litter!”

 

Isn’t the boy in Scene One quite pitiful? He must be confused by the different educational methods of his parents and teacher.

 

School education, besides teaching children textbook knowledge, also emphasizes moral education. Protecting the environment is a well-known principle. When schools and teachers are fully cultivating this sense of public morality in children, if parents can cooperate with the school, encourage children to follow the teacher’s guidance, and set an example themselves, children can receive positive education, rather than learning one set of standards at school and facing another in real life.

 

Home-School Cooperation in Cultivating Children’s Character

Schools have many requirements for students, such as punctuality, discipline, orderliness, service, and cleanliness, all of which are part of moral education. The aim is for children to realize from a young age that they are part of society and have responsibilities and obligations, not just to gain benefits. Imagine, if the boy in Scene One, after hearing his parents’ reasoning, adopts the mindset of “since I didn’t throw it, I don’t need to pick it up” even at home, what would the parents think? Every parent hopes their child will consciously care for the cleanliness of their home environment and appreciate their parents’ hard work. But have you ever thought: if you never teach your child to respect the labor of cleaners, and never personally demonstrate care for the larger social environment in front of your child, how will the child learn to care for the small environment at home?

helped by elders or domestic helpers. Some children even believe that it is the domestic helper’s job to take care of them, so there is no need to be particularly polite to them. Additionally, few schoolchildren say “good morning,” “good night,” or “let’s eat” to their parents.

 

Why do children lack manners? It is because parents themselves do not say “thank you” to others or to domestic helpers. Some parents frequently or occasionally rebuke and scold elders or interrupt others while they are speaking. Besides occupying seats on public transportation, some parents also cut in line or do not queue in public places. Parents and teachers are role models for children, and our every word and action constantly influence their values. Parents must always be vigilant about their behavior and should try to correct their children’s impolite attitudes immediately, but remember to use appropriate tone and language. Parents should also take time each day to guide their children to reflect on their mistakes, making the lessons more impactful. The cultivation of children’s character must be achieved through home-school cooperation, with parents playing an even more crucial role than teachers.

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What should I do if a child is overly attached to objects?

Parent Tips

What should I do if a child is overly attached to objects?

Written by: Heep Hong Society Educational Psychologist Team

 

A friend’s five-year-old daughter has been exhibiting “object attachment” since she was two years old. No matter what she does, she must hold her old, worn-out teddy bear, almost never letting it out of her hands. The old teddy bear is her most important possession, and she must hold it tightly wherever she goes. If she finds it missing, she becomes irritable and cries incessantly. Recently, her mother threw away the teddy bear for hygiene reasons, and the girl cried all day long.

 

From a psychological perspective, a child’s attachment to an object is a stage in their psychological development, most commonly occurring from six months to three years old, and peaking around two years old. According to child psychology, these old objects and toys are a source of psychological security for young children. The duration of a child’s attachment to objects varies; some children’s attachments are short-lived, while others may continue until they start elementary school. Children may become particularly attached to familiar objects during sudden events or changes in their environment, such as a sudden change in living conditions, exposure to violence, or separation from loved ones, as these objects provide a source of comfort and stability.

Conduct a “Farewell to Attachment Objects” Ceremony

Educational psychologists believe that since a child’s excessive attachment to objects is caused by a lack of security, to solve this problem, one should start by increasing the child’s sense of security.

 

Generally, guiding children to give up their attachment to objects from the age of three is the best time, as the child already has sufficient independent ability. Parents and kindergarten teachers expressing care through language and timely hugs can also help alleviate the child’s feelings of insecurity.

 

On the other hand, parents can hold a “farewell” ceremony for the object of the child’s attachment, such as a “handkerchief farewell ceremony,” which involves asking the child to say goodbye to the handkerchief through verbal description or drawing. Together, they put away or bury the handkerchief, “cutting off” all possibilities that might make the child miss it, but at the same time letting the child know that the parents will keep the object safe for them to retrieve for reminiscing when they grow up.

 

In addition, many children become “addicted” to items like small blankets, little pillows, teddy bears, or their usual bath towels. When purchasing these items for young children, parents should consciously prepare other objects for substitution, so that the child cannot become overly attached to any particular item. If from the start there are two or three small blankets prepared, or a teddy bear family including grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, little teddy bear, and its cousins, allowing the child to alternate choices, they will not easily invest too much emotion in any one thing.

 

Give “Unconditional Hugs” Often

Parents should hug their children often, and pat their backs and heads. This kind of unconditional hug can suggest to the child “I am by your side, I love you, don’t be afraid, I am here! It’s okay to fail, you are safe!” and so on. Children who often hug with their parents will never treat a small blanket or teddy bear as their “spiritual guardian.”