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Delaying Tactics for Cultivating Children’s Patience

Parent Tips

Delaying Tactics for Cultivating Children’s Patience

Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist, New Horizons Development Centre

 

Hong Kong is a society abundant in material wealth, but due to the overabundance of resources, when children have needs in life, parents quickly provide them with ample supply, allowing them continuous satisfaction. However, parents satisfying their children’s needs too quickly can have a negative impact on them, failing to cultivate their ability to endure, and over time, their patience may become limited.

 

Utilizing Emotional Intelligence to Cultivate Children’s Patience

Delaying gratification or the fulfillment of life’s needs is an important part of developing emotional intelligence (EQ). If parents are accustomed to quickly satisfying their children’s needs but then complain about their lack of patience, such criticism is unfair to the children, as their patience has simply not been nurtured.

 

How can one delay the fulfillment of children’s needs? To train children’s emotional intelligence, the secret is “neither using the cane nor the carrot,” meaning that neither corporal punishment nor frequent rewards are necessary. Instead, patience and the ability to wait are cultivated through daily life experiences. Parents can try the following examples:

 

Example 1: When parents and children go to a dim sum restaurant, there is no need to let the children eat whatever they like immediately. Parents can ask the children to wait for 5 minutes after finishing one basket of dim sum before eating a second type; or they can require the children to wait until the parents have eaten a portion before they can eat. In this way, parents and children take turns eating the dim sum.

 

Example 2: When children ask their parents to buy toys, parents do not need to purchase them immediately. They can explain to the child to wait a few hours, days, or a week before buying, asking the children to wait patiently.

Example 3: When children return home from the street, do not let them turn on the TV immediately as they please. They must be asked to put away their shoes and socks, drink a glass of water, and sit on the sofa for 3 minutes before they can turn on the TV.

 

Example 4: When children go out with their parents, do not let them rush to press the elevator button immediately. Parents can ask them to wait for the parents to go out together, walk to the elevator together, and then press the button.



Parents Must Be Consistent and Credible to Train Children’s Intelligence

 

These are just a few examples. Parents must make good use of the “dragging tactic” in life’s details. Using the dragging tactic does not mean denying or refusing the children’s needs, but rather not satisfying them immediately. What parents need to pay attention to is that when using these tactics, they must follow through with what they say. No matter if the children act spoiled, throw a tantrum, cry, or scream, parents must stick to the principle of “dragging”; additionally, parents must also be credible and do what they have promised the children.

 

Furthermore, when children make requests, parents can ask the children to explain their reasons, which not only trains their emotional intelligence (EQ) but also their intelligence (IQ). By putting a little more effort into the details of children’s lives, parents can effectively help train their children’s emotional intelligence. Parents might as well give it a try!

However, doing so seems to not only waste a lot of money and time, but also those originally intelligent children are more likely to lose their spirit in the multitude of educational directions, their talents are delayed or even obliterated. They passively move from one tutoring class to another specialty class, learning things they neither like nor are good at.

 

Childhood, for children, is no longer a memory of happiness and beauty, but of pressure and worry. The saddest thing is that when they grow up, they have more complaints about their parents.

 

Is there a better way to understand a child’s talents, personality, and traits, so as to teach students in accordance with their aptitude and cultivate them in a directed way?

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Parents Zone

Besides good grades and getting into a good school, what else do children need?

Parent Tips

Besides good grades and getting into a good school, what else do children need?

Written by: Ms. Carmen Leung, Director of Curriculum Development, Steps Education

 

Many parents ask what holistic education is. From the perspective of the wisdom of the Chinese people that has been passed down for thousands of years, it is the cultivation of a child’s “morality, intelligence, physical fitness, social skills, and aesthetics”; from the perspective of psychologists, it is the cultivation of a child’s multiple intelligences; from the perspective of education, it is not only the pursuit of knowledge, but also the cultivation of a child’s values, attitudes, artistic and cultural accomplishments, interpersonal skills, problem-solving, and thinking abilities. To put it more simply, from the perspective of ordinary people, holistic education is about making sure the child is well-rounded, with good grades, many friends, positive thoughts, and capable in music, sports, and art. Do you want your child to achieve holistic development?

 

Multiple intelligences are divided into seven categories, with innate and acquired factors each playing a role.

 

Today, let’s introduce the commonly mentioned multiple intelligences from the perspective of psychology. The “Theory of Multiple Intelligences” was proposed by Professor Howard Gardner of Harvard University in 1983. He found that intelligence can be divided into at least seven types, which are linguistic intelligence, logical-mathematical intelligence, spatial-visual intelligence, musical intelligence, bodily-kinesthetic intelligence, interpersonal intelligence, and intrapersonal intelligence.

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Parents Zone

My child eats fruits and vegetables every day but still struggles with bowel movements. What should I do?

Parent Tips

My child eats fruits and vegetables every day but still struggles with bowel movements. What should I do?

Written by: Registered Public Health Nutritionist (UK) and Nutritionist, Ng Pui Yu

 

Many parents have encountered the issue of their children having difficulty with bowel movements. When this problem arises, parents usually increase the fiber content in their children’s diet, but the effectiveness varies from person to person. What should be noted in this process?

 

What is an appropriate amount of fiber?

 

Many people know that eating foods high in fiber such as whole grains, nuts, beans, fruits (like prunes, figs, kiwis, bananas, apples, pears, etc.) and vegetables (like eggplants, bell peppers, daylilies, amaranth, broccoli, cabbage, mustard greens, spinach, Chinese broccoli, snow fungus, mushrooms, etc.) can stimulate intestinal peristalsis. It turns out that when fiber absorbs water, it becomes soft and expands like a sponge, stimulating the urge to defecate. Sufficient fiber also helps promote the growth of beneficial bacteria in the intestines, which can improve constipation. It is important to note that when increasing dietary fiber, it should be done gradually, increasing slowly every few days, otherwise, if the body cannot adapt, it may make the stool even harder.

The daily dietary fiber requirement for children is their age plus 5 grams. For example, a 4-year-old child should have a daily dietary fiber intake of about 4+5=9 grams. To consume enough fiber, children aged 2 to 5 years old need at least 1.5 servings of vegetables (1 serving = 1/2 bowl of cooked vegetables) and at least 1 serving of fruit (1 serving = 1 medium-sized fruit, such as an orange or apple) per day.

Is the water intake really sufficient?

 

Often, parents claim that their child drinks a lot of water, but the bowel movements are still not ideal. Upon further inquiry, it turns out that they only drink about 500 to 600 milliliters a day, which is not enough. Parents should know that fiber and water are partners; there must be enough water for the fiber to absorb, swell, and soften, which stimulates intestinal peristalsis. If there is sufficient fiber but not enough water, it can make the stool hard and even more difficult to pass. In fact, children aged 2 to 5 years old need 4 to 5 cups of fluid a day, which is about 1000 to 1250 milliliters, and at least half of this should be plain water. If the weather is hot or dry, if there is a lot of sweating, if the child is very active, or if the dietary fiber intake is increased, then more water should be consumed.

 

Additionally, daily appropriate exercise can also help stimulate intestinal peristalsis and aid in bowel movements; developing a habit of going to the toilet at regular times can also help improve constipation.

Dietary Fiber Content Chart (Source: Department of Health)

Food

Dietary Fiber Content (grams)

Grains

 

White Rice, 1 bowl

0.8

Brown Rice, 1 bowl

4.5

Whole Wheat Bread, 1 slice

3.4

Oatmeal (Dry), 1/3 bowl

2.7

  

Fruits / Dried Fruits

 

Apple, with skin, 1 medium

4.4

Orange, 1 medium

3.1

Banana, 1 piece

3.1

Dried Plums, pitted, 3 pieces

2.0

Raisins, seedless, small box

1.5

Dried Apricots, pitted, 5 pieces

2.6

  

Vegetables

 

Broccoli, cooked, 1/2 bowl

2.6

Chinese Broccoli, cooked, 1/2 bowl

1.3

Lettuce, raw, 1 bowl

0.9

Tomato, raw, 1 medium

1.5

Corn Kernels, cooked, 1/2 bowl

2.0

Green Peas, cooked, 1/2 bowl

4.4

Sweet Potato, cooked, peeled, 1 medium

3.8

  

Legumes

 

Lima Beans, cooked, 1/2 bowl

5.6

Soybeans, cooked, 1/2 bowl

5.2

Red Beans, cooked, 1/2 bowl

8.4

Mung Beans, cooked, 1/2 bowl

7.7

1 bowl = 240 ml

 

Note: Everyone’s health condition is different, so it is advisable to consult a dietitian for individual dietary plans and precautions.