Category: Parents Zone

Written by: Director of Program Development, Carmen Leung

In the midst of the epidemic, there is a wide range of educational animations or online children’s programs for parents to choose from. Many parents also download different tablet apps for their children to use in the hope that they can learn through interactive or interesting images and sounds. Which animations and apps are good for children’s learning? What should parents pay attention to when using multimedia to help their children learn?

Time to use e-learning according to age

In early childhood, as the brain area responsible for coordinating the five senses is developing rapidly, I do not recommend children aged 0 to 2 years old to rely too much on TV or tablet computers for learning. This is because the images on the TV or tablet are flashing at a very high frequency, and children’s eyes and brains will unconsciously receive stimulation continuously, and over time, visual stimulation will become a habit, and brain development will be affected, resulting in reduced concentration.

Some parents say, “My child is very attentive when watching TV and playing with iPhone, but not when reading books, so I buy a lot of learning animations for her to watch. Have parents ever thought that if the eyes and brain are accustomed to constant stimulation, relatively static things such as books and teachers’ explanations will naturally become uninteresting, if you continue to let young children rely on rich images to learn, what to do if one day in the future they will need to face books?

Since the brain of children over 2 years old is more mature, parents can let children over 2 years old use TV and computer to learn in a limited way. The time should be no more than 15 minutes a day as a starting point, and older children can watch a little more. As children grow older, the high-frequency flicker of the computer or TV will have a relatively lesser impact on brain development.

Multi-learning mode is recommended

Although displays have an effect on children’s attention span, I do not believe that using TV and computers for learning is undesirable. Multimedia or computer programs can make learning more interesting and interactive, so that children can enjoy learning more and learn more quickly. However, in addition to using interactive multimedia for learning, children also need to adapt to other less interactive learning modes, such as books and one-way lectures, and find the fun in learning.

Parents should provide their children with a variety of learning channels, such as taking them to the library, playing educational games with them, visiting museums, going for walks on nature education trails, or even teaching them to read the English menu at restaurants, etc., so that they can try different learning modes and methods to find the joy of learning.

Written by Mr. Leung Wing Lok, an octopus parent

Since I got a Kim Jong-un haircut by a hair stylist, I have been thinking about whether I should implement “Kim Jong-un style of discipline” at home to a pair of children, and to authoritatively promote my personal hero worship to my father, so as to regain my status and authority in the family, and to implement the “Great Father Leader”, and I am planning to hang my own magnificent pictures in all rooms and play the “Love Daddy” song, but unfortunately, it has been a failure before implementation.

Should you build authority in your children from a young age?

Many of my friends would remind me to build authority while my children are still young, otherwise we will not be respected when they grow up. The friends’ good intentions are based on how they were “taught” or “lectured” when they were young, and then they “respected” and “feared” their fathers, and had a good relationship with their fathers when they grew up, so they concluded that “filial children come out from under the rod” and “don’t be disobedient”.

A friend shared his personal story of being beaten “because he was beaten every day, both big and small, he was already used to it”, and one night he felt strange because he had not been “taught a lesson”, and before he went to bed, he did not forget to remind his parents “to beat or not to beat? If not, I will go to sleep ……” is full of black humor. But fortunately, my friend is a kind-hearted person who grew up without a vengeance and did not become a murderer.

Dismantling the true power of fatherhood

The question of how to establish the authority of a father is a perennial problem, and I ask “Why must we establish patriarchal authority? Is the purpose to facilitate management? A command was given and all the children obeyed. Or how much of it is to satisfy one’s own desire for power, “I am the father, you are the children, you must listen to what I say. Or even more, “I say one is one, and my children have no right to say two. I believe that if I were such an “authoritarian” father, I would not be happy either, because my father is not so domineering, and has never “dictated” my decisions on further education, employment, etc., except for when I scored near zero in exams and dictations when I was young, I would be given a harsh “What are you doing? I think this is the power of patriarchal authority.

Teaching by example is more important than discipline

Back to my “Kim Jong-un discipline”, my eldest son, Hay, is always angry because of changing clothes, and the conversation often goes like this, my wife or I: “Change your clothes! We’re going out! “ I kept doing my best to show my fatherly authority (pretending) and said angrily, “Go change your shirt, go, go, go! He was so disturbed but did not do anything. My wife couldn’t resist: “You haven’t changed your shirt yet? Is there anything wrong! Hay replied, “Daddy won’t help me change my shirt! I said : “I’d help you change, but you didn’t. Come on over” He is furious: “I want to change myself “ Normally I will be so angry but before the fake role became a real anger, Hay came to me and hugged me and said “Today is Father’s Day, Happy Father’s Day! I feel a sense of déjà vu…. Teaching by example is more important than discipline, and “Kim Jong-un’s discipline” is even less necessary and is automatically set aside.

Written by : Family Dynamics Child Play Therapist

 Marriage and Family Therapist, Ms. Lee Wai Zi

In today’s society, it is indeed not easy for parents to maintain a good state of mind and body. I have met with many parents and found that the difficulty most parents face is not that they do not understand their children’s feelings and needs, or that they do not know how their behavior affects their children, but that it is difficult to maintain a trusting and optimistic attitude towards their children when they are in a situation. Often, parents become increasingly anxious as they worry that their child’s problems will continue and worsen, and repeat ineffective ways of dealing with their child’s problems.

So, how can parents maintain the best mental state to face the stress and challenges of disciplining their children? Here are some tips for parents to consider: 

1. Be more sensitive to your own stress levels

Parents are human beings, so there will be times when they are depressed or physically and emotionally exhausted. The purpose of parents being sensitive to their own mental state is to remind themselves that they need to take care of their own needs first. It is difficult for parents to be sensitive and responsive to the needs of their children when they are in a highly stressed state. Conversely, inappropriate responses may harm the child and damage the parent-child relationship. 

2. Use resources effectively to relieve stress

When parents feel stressed, they should try to explore and make good use of their own internal and external resources to regulate their negative emotions. For example, find family members or friends to talk to, do things that can relax you, and find positive thoughts and beliefs to encourage you. The purpose is to give yourself a proper rest and temporary relief from stress.

3. Turn your mind around and reflect

If a parent’s stress continues and increases, professional help is needed. Sometimes, these pressures come from more than just external influences. Parents’ self-worth, worldview, and perceptions of things can affect how we parent. For example, some parents worry that they are not doing enough to fulfill their parental responsibilities and end up pushing their children to study or participate in activities, or even that they are not flexible enough to respond to their children’s needs when they are stressed and negative. If 

parents are aware of and take care of their own feelings and needs, they can prevent their negative emotions from affecting the next generation.

Therefore, parents who love their children must first love themselves. Only when parents are healthy and happy can their children grow up healthy and happy.

Written by: Hong Kong Speech and Swallowing Therapy Centre

                   Senior Speech Therapist Eunice Siu

In our daily interactions with others, we not only observe others’ behaviors, but also “explain” and “predict” others’ behaviors. Theory of mind is the ability to infer or substitute other people’s mental states, such as their thoughts, beliefs, desires, and intentions, etc., and to use this ability to explain other people’s thoughts, perceptions, and predict their behaviors. Theory of mind can be subdivided into “emotion recognition”, “beliefs” and “pretend play”.

The developmental period for children’s theory of mind is from approximately 3 to 7 years of age. However, before the age of 3, children need to master the following skills to effectively develop theory of mind skills.

1. noticing and imitating the behavior of people around them

2. recognizing the emotions of others and using words to express them (e.g., happy, sad, angry, surprised)

3. participates in pretend play

4. understands that different people have different desires and preferences

5. understands that people will act to get what they want (e.g. reach for candy)

6. understands the causes and consequences of unsympathetic emotions (e.g. if I hit my brother, my mom will be mad and then she will scold me)

Ways to improve theory of mind are:

1. Use more psychologically relevant words when talking to your child 

Using psychologically related words to communicate with children can help children understand their own and others’ psychological conditions more specifically. Examples of psychologically related words are “think,” “pretend,” “know,” “believe,” “feel,” and words related to emotions. Pay attention to what your child is trying to say and then respond. For example, “Ah! You want cake”, “Don’t be afraid! You think I’m gone, but I’m still here,” and “Mommy’s mad at you for hitting your brother. Parents can also explain to their children the psychological situation of others, e.g., “Mei-mei is smiling so much when she receives a birthday present, she should be very excited.

2. Participate in role-playing games with your child

Role-playing games encourage children to put themselves in different situations and characters’ perspectives to draw inferences about their behavior. To begin, children can pretend to be common everyday characters, such as mothers, doctors, teachers, and drivers. Parents should pay attention to the fact that both the words and behaviors in the game should be substituted for the role played. This activity helps children experience a variety of emotions, thoughts and interactions in different social situations, and learn to observe, imitate, anticipate, review and adjust their thoughts and behaviors.

I hope parents can make good use of the opportunity to share and communicate more with their children in daily life, so that they can learn to “look at people’s eyebrows and eyes” (meaning read people’s faces) and become a “mind-reading detective”!

Source：

Hollin, P., Baron-Cohen, S.,& Hadwin,J.(1999). Teaching children with autism tomind-read. West Sussex, England: Wiely Press

Lowry, L.(2015).” Tuning in” to others: How young children develop theory of mind. The Hanen Centre.

Spastics Association of Hong Kong (2005). Connecting: Developing social skills in children with autism. Spastics Association of Hong Kong.

Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist, New Horizons Development Centre

It is quite common for young children to become “shy kids” when they encounter strangers or find themselves in unfamiliar environments. How can parents help them break through this barrier and avoid hiding behind them every time they meet new friends?

Are Children Afraid of Strangers or Anyone?

In fact, shyness is a common experience for young children. They may not understand the motives or intentions of others, or they might feel scared in new environments. This is a normal reaction. Shyness is an inner psychological state, and parents should analyze their child’s reactions to different people to determine whether they are afraid of strangers or even shy around familiar faces.

If a child feels shy due to the unusual appearance or attire of strangers, or if they are in an unfamiliar environment with poor lighting or enclosed spaces, it is important to note that adults can also exhibit similar behaviors. Feeling shy or panicked in unfamiliar places or crowds is a normal reaction.

Gradual Exposure to Adapt to Environments and People

There are both extroverted and introverted children, as these are personality traits. Parents need to accept their child’s personality while also nurturing them to break through their limits. If a child remains shy for an extended period, it can hinder their exploration of the world, limit opportunities to enhance cognitive abilities, and reduce chances for social interaction and engagement in new learning experiences.

Parents should help their children gradually adapt to social interactions, moving from familiar to unfamiliar. Start with family members, then relatives, neighbors, friends, acquaintances, and finally strangers, slowly expanding the child’s social circle. Additionally, some children may not be afraid of facing others but may feel uncomfortable in certain unfamiliar environments. Parents should regularly take their children to different new places to expose them to new experiences, helping them learn to remain calm and increasing their social comfort zones. However, parents should not rush this process.

Developmental Issues Can Also Cause Shyness

Moreover, parents should be aware of potential developmental issues that might lead them to mistakenly perceive their child as shy, or that may actually be the root cause of their shyness. For instance, if a child has hearing development issues, their ability to respond to and receive sounds will naturally be poorer than that of a normally developing child. Similarly, if a child is nearsighted or farsighted, their inability to see clearly can lead to feelings of shyness. If parents do not recognize that this shyness stems from vision problems, they may mistakenly believe the child is simply more reserved, overlooking the real issue.

Additionally, issues such as sensory integration dysfunction, social barriers, and poor coordination between different sensory channels can also lead to similar behaviors in children. If parents are unable to identify the underlying problems, they should seek assistance from professionals to diagnose the root causes and address them promptly, greatly reducing the impact on the child.

Written by: Child Psychological Development Association, Psychological Counselor, Mr. Ching Wai Keung

“His handwriting is always out of line; it always ‘flies’ all over the place!”

“He can’t even write within the boxes; he usually takes up two boxes for one character!”

“He often skips lines or spaces when writing!”

“It seems like he doesn’t apply enough pressure when he writes; his writing is so faint that it’s almost unreadable!”

These comments reflect the experiences of many children learning to write in K2. When children write, they need to coordinate many abilities, the simplest being the strength and dexterity of their finger muscles (fine motor skills). If there is insufficient training in fine motor skills, children may struggle with writing or holding a pen effectively. So, how can parents address and train this? It’s simple: let them play with playdough, clay, and flour from a young age.

Secondly, visual-spatial awareness and eye control are also important for copying. General ball activities are excellent training options. Tracking a ball visually and then performing an action to catch (or kick) it is a natural and fun form of training. Additionally, games like “spot the difference” (finding the differences between two pictures) and maze games (first finding the way with their eyes and then connecting the dots with a pen) can also benefit eye control.

Hand-eye coordination is, of course, crucial in copying practice! Activities like tossing and catching beanbags, fishing games, pouring exercises, and cutting paper can greatly aid hand-eye coordination.

When should these games start? How long should they be practiced each day? In fact, parents can start playing these games with their children as soon as they understand and are able to play. Moreover, parents should base activities on the child’s willingness; when the child doesn’t want to play, parents should switch to another game instead of insisting on a set duration. My philosophy is that through daily play, children can acquire certain skills to prevent problems, rather than relying on remedial practice. Otherwise, even the best games can become tedious and unenjoyable, leading to more suffering than enjoyment!

Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist

Many parents hope to enhance their children’s thinking skills. In fact, as long as parents properly guide their children to connect some small things in life and then ask leading questions, they can consciously think about the things they see and related knowledge. For example, when children see an apple, let them think about what kind of object is also round or red; when they hear the sound of birds, they will think about what kind of animal can fly.

Ask your child more questions that are not restrictive

When parents ask children questions, do not force them to answer or ask for a definite answer, or even ask them to answer the question right away because they may still be thinking about it. Parents do not need to ask any restrictive questions and can ask whatever comes to mind, such as what kind of objects chopsticks are like and what kind of people wear uniforms like students. In addition to making them think more, parents can also think and discuss with their children as a parent-child activity, which helps to enhance their relationship.

In addition to asking individual questions, parents can also allow children to answer questions with their siblings or friends. For children with higher ability, parents can let them answer more different answers; for children with average ability, they can answer fewer answers; for those with weaker ability, parents can guide them to answer through appropriate prompting and demonstration.

Parents can look for questions in their lives

Parents can look for questions in their lives that they can ask. They can even try to ask questions that are imaginative and open to discussion, so that their children can use their imagination and associative power. For example, parents can ask their children what things are round outdoors, what things in the house are made of iron, what foods are red, and so on. On the other hand, questions with definite and positive answers, such as math questions (1 plus 1 equals how many), are generally called “closed-ended questions” and are not very helpful in improving children’s associative skills because they only have specific answers.

In fact, creation and association should start from the smallest things, which is a good way to train children’s associative and thinking skills. Therefore, parents should start from today to enhance your child’s associative skills!

Written by: Speech Therapist Ms Jenny T. Y. Kwok

Every child’s language ability is different. Some children can speak various words by the age of one and form sentences by two, communicating effectively with others. However, some children develop their language skills more slowly. In fact, the development of oral muscles has a profound impact on both eating and language abilities. Parents can engage in various small games to train their children’s oral muscles, laying a solid foundation for their language development.

Oral muscles include the muscles of the cheeks, lips, tongue, and jaw, which develop and improve with age and eating experiences. The strength, control, flexibility, and coordination of these muscles are crucial factors in a child’s ability to learn to speak.

Daily meal times provide excellent practice opportunities. However, some cases involve children primarily eating finely chopped or pureed foods, which can hinder the normal development of their chewing abilities, affecting both eating and language development. Common issues include drooling and unclear or inaccurate pronunciation, so oral muscle problems must be addressed.

Here are some simple games to train oral muscles, which we hope will improve children’s oral capabilities through fun activities, thus laying a strong foundation for their language skills.

Blowing Practice

How to Play:

First, prepare a basin of water and position it between the parent and child, who should face each other. Fill the basin halfway with water and place a paper boat on the parent’s side, adding a small treat or toy (such as stickers, etc.) inside. The parent blows the paper boat toward the child, who can then take the treat. If the child wants more, they must blow the boat back toward the parent.

This blowing exercise strengthens the ability to retract the tongue and round the lips, enhancing the stability and control of the jaw, which improves speech clarity.

Chewing Practice

How to Play:

Cut harder vegetables or fruits (such as carrots, cucumbers, celery, and apples) into strips approximately the length and thickness of a finger. The parent holds the end of the vegetable strip and places it between the child’s molars to encourage chewing. The parent should stabilize the food’s position, pushing it slightly each time the child bites until the strip is completely eaten, alternating sides for practice. Parents can adjust the size, length, and hardness of the food strips according to the child’s abilities.

Chewing requires the coordination of the lips, tongue, and jaw muscles, while speech development also relies on the collaboration of different oral muscles to produce various sounds. Therefore, chewing training helps improve clarity of pronunciation.

Written by: Heep Hong Society Educational Psychologist Team

During a parents’ meeting, Mrs. Wong expressed her fear of receiving calls addressed to her as “Mrs. Wong,” as they are usually from her son Didi’s class teacher. Each time, the call revolves around complaints about Didi’s unusual behavior in class—either he frequently leaves his seat or disrupts his classmates during lessons. On rare occasions when he stays in his seat, she hopes for some quiet, but within 15 minutes, he becomes active again, and his disruptive behavior resumes. The most frustrating issue for the teacher is Didi’s noticeable lack of focus compared to his peers. He cannot concentrate for long during lessons; even the sound of a classmate coughing or whispering is enough to distract him, especially in dull classes where his attention drops rapidly.

Didi is also an impulsive child. There was an incident when a classmate sitting next to him accidentally kicked him, and he immediately retaliated with his fists. He often speaks without thinking, which frequently embarrasses those around him. Over time, not only do many teachers dislike him, but his classmates also find him very annoying. As a result, during recess, Didi often finds himself alone. Each day he comes home and complains to his mother about how unhappy he is because no one wants to play with him, and each time she hears this, her heart aches. She patiently talks to Didi, hoping he will realize his mistakes and change, but the calls from school continue without interruption.

Compared to other children his age, Didi has a shorter attention span, is unusually hyperactive, and exhibits many behavioral problems. Due to his impulsivity, he may be a child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Parents who notice similar signs in their children should seek evaluation and assistance as soon as possible. The earlier children receive help, the more their difficulties in learning and socializing can be alleviated.

Written by : Dr. Chiu Cheung Shing

The weather in Hong Kong can be unpredictable, and combined with children’s weaker immune systems, they are prone to various illnesses. Moreover, children learn and play together at school, making it easy for infectious diseases to spread. Therefore, parents must have a certain understanding of common infectious diseases among schoolchildren to take necessary preventive measures and avoid infections.

In Hong Kong, schoolchildren’s infectious diseases can be categorized based on their mode of transmission:

1. Droplet Transmission

Children can inhale droplets expelled by an infected person when they sneeze, cough, spit, or talk. They may also touch surfaces contaminated with pathogens and then touch their eyes, nose, or mouth, allowing the virus to enter their bodies and cause infection. Common illnesses include upper respiratory infections (commonly referred to as colds), influenza, and hand, foot, and mouth disease.

2. Contact Transmission

This occurs when viruses are transmitted through direct contact with an infected person’s body, such as skin-to-skin contact. The most common example is hand, foot, and mouth disease.

3. Airborne Transmission

Pathogens can remain suspended in the air for a period, entering the human body through the respiratory system without direct contact. Common diseases transmitted this way include chickenpox and measles.

4. Hygiene-Related Infections

Some infectious diseases arise from improper personal hygiene, such as urinary tract infections or gastroenteritis (commonly referred to as stomach flu).

Handling Infectious Diseases

When a child contracts any infectious disease, they should not attend school. Firstly, the child may encounter more viruses at school or further weaken their immune system. Secondly, for public health considerations, it is essential to prevent the spread of the virus. Parents should allow their children to rest at home and return to school only after recovery. Additionally, parents can take preventive actions early, such as ensuring their children receive vaccinations against diseases like influenza or chickenpox, which can effectively prevent infections.

Parents should teach their children to avoid contact with classmates who have colds and to wash their hands frequently, using hand sanitizers appropriately to maintain personal hygiene. They should also instruct their children not to share cups or utensils to prevent cross-infection.

If a school suspects that a student has an infectious disease, teachers should remind the affected student to wear a mask, cover their mouth with a tissue when sneezing or coughing, and should try to isolate the student while properly handling any bodily fluids. Parents should be informed to take the child to see a doctor.